Tides of Fate
by Wayward Tempest
Summary: Sometimes we can't be saved from a fall...until we let go. (Completed)
1. Default Chapter

Characters are copyright Squaresoft. This is part 1 of 2 or maybe 3 parts…haven't decided yet heh. This is yet another Squall and Rinoa fic from myself…and…wait…where are you all going? Get back here! Heheh ah well I'd like to dedicate this little ditty to all you squinoa fans who stayed. And to Ashbear for all the help and advice and helping me come up with an appropriate title. This takes place in the time period between leaving time compression and the party. Comments, suggestions are much appreciated and cherished forever!   
  
  
  
  
  
At the far reaches of darkness,   
The limits where light does not reach   
Now, too, alone   
Continuing a solitary journey   
  
On this disintegrating star,   
Hearts of steel   
Informing us of this single parting-   
Faster than light   
It climbs upstream in the flow of time.   
  
A star was born   
And by and by, knew death   
And then, alone   
A hand reaches out forever.   
--"Long Distance" from Final Fantasy: Love Will Grow.   
  
There weren't many paths for me to choose. Sometimes, there would only be one. From the limited possibilities I faced, the choices I made have brought me this far. That's why I value the path I chose... I want to hold true to the path that HAD to be taken." "It's not like I drifted here on the tides of fate. I'm here because I chose to be here."   
--Irvine Kinneas   
  
  
  
  
  
One second after the other. Constant and unceasing is time; taking and giving with each breath you take…14 days, 13 hours, 45 minutes and 15…16…17 seconds. Rinoa Heartilly cursed the clock mounted upon the starch white wall. It cursed her back, mocking her with each second that ticked menacingly in her ears. Draining the life from her like water from a pool. Time was running out and she knew it, but refused to accept it. She laid her head back against the chair with a sigh. It was horribly uncomfortable, but it had been her home for the past two weeks. Already it had formed a perfect indention from her body.   
  
She spent most of the time sitting in that chair. She slept in the chair, but that was a rare occasion. She fought sleep with all the strength she had. That had become apparent by her physical appearance. Her eyes were dark circled and bloodshot. She was dressed in a pair of black jeans and a white t-shirt that was two sizes too big. Her hair was tied into a loose braid with a thread-worn old hair tie. Tresses of hair had come loose and hung in long strands around her face. A face that was pale from physical and mental exhaustion. She needed a hot meal, she needed another shower, and she needed about 14 days worth of sleep.   
  
But most of all, she needed him, and she refused to give in. Because somehow, she sensed that he needed her too, no matter how impossible it seemed to reach him. She was going to stay here, with him, for as long as it took. He had told her once that she was stubborn.   
  
"You have no idea how stubborn I can be Squall Leonhart," She said quietly as she looked at the still form on the bed beside her, "No idea at all."   
  
He was hooked to an assortment of different machinery. Machines that helped him to breathe, machines that pumped fluids into his veins through IV tubes, and machines that monitored a life that was barely there. He baffled the medical staff of the Garden who could find no evidence of injuries, head trauma or anything that could have triggered such a deep coma. Then again, up until a few weeks ago no one had even heard of time compression. No one knew its effects on the human body. Yet the rest of them seemed just fine. He had been there longer though. Trapped in some god-awful place, experiencing things that could only be dreamt of in the worst of nightmares. Dr. Kadowaki had told them that he could have come into contact with an infinite number of alien bodies, viral or parasitic that they couldn't detect with their technology. It didn't stop her hope though. She had reason for hope, no matter how unreal it may have been. It was a glimpse into another soul, too real, too painful, to be a dream. Her thoughts drifted back to the time when she found him in that blackened world.   
  
When she found him. He was dead. His face was the color of ashes. She touched it with her hand, and it felt like cold and waxen clay. His body was limp and unresponsive in her arms. She called his name. He wasn't breathing. He had no heartbeat. He was gone.   
  
She screamed his name as she threw her arms around him pressing her body tightly against his, crying hysterically. And between anguished sobs, against the feathery fur of his jacket collar she whispered,   
  
"I remembered."   
  
In an instant light shot from all directions as hundreds of petals danced around the two of them. The light swallowing the darkness, driving the clouds to the farthest reaches of the atmosphere. The cracked sand fell out from beneath them as acres of grass shot up from the ground like rockets. She looked around in alarm; they were in the flower field again. She wondered how or if she even brought them back here. Not that it made any difference now, if she could only have found him sooner.   
  
"Rinoa."   
  
The voice was soft and barely audible but she had recognized it immediately. She looked down and was met with his eyes looking up at her. They were wide and childlike. The normally solemn and unreadable gaze was gone. His irises were the deepest shade of blue. She saw an unbelievable joy, one that must have echoed off of hers because by some miracle he was alive. Tears fell out of the corners of his eyes as he smiled. It was a smile that she had never seen fall across his face before that moment. It was innocent, and it was beautiful. He reached for her and gently touched the side of her face.   
  
"I found you," he whispered.   
  
"Yes Squall," she said as she smiled through her tears, "You found me."   
  
He lowered his arm and started to take her hand when suddenly the smile faded as panic began flooding his eyes.   
  
"What's wrong?" She questioned.   
  
His body tore itself from her grasp as he fell to the ground gasping and choking as if the air was suddenly an unknown intruder entering his lungs, like a fish trying to breathe above the surface of the water. His lips began to turn blue. Panicked, she grabbed his flailing body and tried to hold him still. She watched his eyes roll back in his head as he fought against an unknown assailant.   
  
"Squall!"   
  
His entire frame quaked with violent tremors. Blood began oozing out of his nose and ears and his face contorted in utter agony. With all of the strength he had left he forced all of the breath he had left in his body out into a loud and guttural scream. It broke her self-control and shattered her heart all at once. She immediately began casting regen and cure spells on him. Giving him every recovery potion she had left. She continued casting one life magic spell after another until her MP was nearly spent. Her head spun and her fingers grew numb. She had nothing else to give him. His body continued to shudder beneath her fingertips. The spells seemed to have little effect on him at all. He continued to struggle for air.   
  
"Someone help me!" she cried her voice echoing across the valley. "Hyne, please, someone, help him!" Tears streamed down her face as she watched him writhe in utter torment.   
  
"Rinoa!" A familiar voice shouted from behind her. She whirled around to see Quistis and the others bounding towards them through the tall grass. Had there been time she would have been elated at seeing them all again, discovering that they too had found their way back.   
  
But Rinoa screamed the only thing that was registering in her mind at that moment.   
  
"I can't help him!"   
  
They were upon them in a matter of moments. She moved aside as the SeeDs began putting all their first-aid medical training to use. She watched their efforts intently, hoping that they could make a difference. It soon became clear that all of the magic and potions in existence couldn't help the man lying on the ground. The world suddenly began closing in. Her vision darkened. She heard them all shouting around her, but they sounded so far away.   
  
"Oh God!"   
  
"He's bleeding everywhere!"   
  
"The GFs are reacting to the seizure, we have to draw them out now!"   
  
"I'm working on it! He's moving around too damn much!"   
  
"I'm holding him as best I can Irvine, hurry up, and concentrate!"   
  
"It's hard enough to concentrate without you yelling in my ear Quisty! I've nearly got them all, just Bahamut, he's being stubborn, won't let me take him."   
  
"Then you hold him down and let me try!"   
  
"Mayday, Mayday! This is SeeD 79492, Private Dincht, the commander is down and we need medical assistance immediately…we're just outside of Edea's orphanage…. No, I don't know the exact coordinates…You've been here a million times…Damn it Nida! Fuck this military bullshit! Squall is fucking dying while we stand around and watch…we need help! Do you copy that?...You're where?…Winhill?…Look there's no time to talk just get behind the controls and haul your ass here now!"   
  
"I can't get it! Damn GF burned my hand!"   
  
"I'm gonna give him a tranquilizer."   
  
"No! Not with the GF still in his body, if we don't draw it out while he's conscious we may not be able to get it out at all!"   
  
"Look at him! He's suffering! How can you worry about saving damn guardians?"   
  
"I'm not! I'm trying to save him! If he goes into a coma, the guardian could kill him!"   
  
"Then what do we do?"   
  
"I don't know…God, I don't know!"   
  
They drifted farther away as the blackness closed in around Rinoa's vision. She was vaguely aware of a pair of slender arms wrapping themselves around her from behind and holding her close.   
  
"He's going to be fine, Rinoa," A voice whispered in her ear. "Don't you worry." Selphie's voice trembled. She wanted desperately to believe her own statement.   
  
The darkness was still consuming her…she tried to speak; tried to get up, she tried to reach for him, as the distance seemed to grow. Stretching miles into eternity. She felt the wind pick up around her, churning air that was hot and thick, swallowing her whole. A voice penetrated her mind; it was faraway and small like that of a child, lost and alone. She opened her eyes. Squall's struggle was fading, his body too weak to fight any longer. He seemed to be looking at her though his eyes were not registering anything at all. The voice came again. Louder this time, and she realized who it was. It sent chills running up and down her spine.   
  
"Help me," he pleaded. "Please."   
  
Without hesitating any longer, she raised her hand as her eyes flashed with a golden hue. She spread her fingers as a white light shot from her palm, encircling Squall in a sea of warm and peaceful solace as she said her one word incantation.   
  
"Sleep."   
  
She fell backwards into Selphie as Squall ceased struggling completely and through her blurred vision she saw the astonished look on her comrades faces. She felt the hot tears on her face as she dropped her trembling hand.   
  
"I'm sorry," she said to no one in particular.   
  
  
  
Then she watched as the sky fell, the faces of her friends faded, and the darkness consumed her.   
  
  
  
She opened her eyes some time later. And once more, all the flowers were gone. The dust twisted and swirled up from the ground that cried out to a threatening sky for rain it had not felt in decades. The air was dense and hard to breathe. Nothingness stretched on for miles upon end.   
  
"Was it a dream?" she wondered silently as she stood on the hollow ground. He could still be waiting for her. Maybe she never found him at all. Maybe she never would. Her heart sank. She shielded her eyes as the lightning flashed brightly across the sinister clouds. Across the horizon, a blood red fog shifted and moved to cover everything in its path. Drawing courage that she wasn't fully aware of, she began walking towards it.   
  
  
  
There wasn't a sound. Even as the lightning illuminated her path, there was no boom of thunder to follow it. Even as the wind lashed violently across the plain it did not howl. The only sounds that did reach her ears were the shuffle of her footsteps as they made contact with the dust and the slight clink of the rings colliding around her neck.   
  
The fog swept around her as she drew nearer to the heart of the storm. A figure moved in and out of the shadows up ahead and she quickened her pace to get a better look.   
  
"Squall?" she called out hopefully.   
  
The figure stopped and turned to look at her. The shadows still covered their face, and she realized as she neared that the figure was a small boy. Slowly he reached down into the sand without taking his eyes off of her. She heard the scrap of metal as the boy lifted an object off of the ground. The lightning cast a glow upon the object and she recognized it immediately. It was Squall's gunblade.   
  
"Hey kid!" She yelled. "Where are you going with that?" She began advancing on him at a fast but unthreatening walk.   
  
He stumbled back as if he was actually aware of her for the first time. He turned on his heels and ran into the depths of the fog, dragging the gunblade behind him.   
  
"Wait!"   
  
In a matter of moments he disappeared from her site. She ran as fast as she could to catch up. She ran for what seemed like miles until she collapsed exhausted on the ground. What was she doing? What exactly would be accomplished once she caught up with this kid? "I should keep looking for Squall," she told herself. But she had no idea where to begin. This hell went on forever. She felt her eyes tear up and wiped at them furiously. She wasn't going to cry. Crying wouldn't solve anything. She clasped the rings around her neck and found her determination and assurance once again. Picking herself back up, she continued to walk.   
  
A familiar clank made her stop in her tracks. She listened intently. It sounded like his footsteps, the belts on his waist shifting with his weight.   
  
"Squall?" she called out again. No answer. She looked and thought she saw him advancing towards her, but the apparition faded.   
  
_"Rinoa…you feel so cold."_   
  
She whirled around. The voice sounded like it was coming from behind her.   
  
"Who's there?" she said. Her echoing voice the only answer she received.   
  
_"Are you going to be like this forever?"_   
  
She whirled in the other direction. Now she knew she wasn't just hearing things.   
  
"Hello?"   
  
_"I want to hear you voice."_   
  
Squall?   
  
_"Rinoa...Call my name."_   
  
"Squall! I'm here!" She screamed at the darkness.   
  
_"I hate that side of me..."_   
  
"Where are you?!?"   
  
_"That's why I didn't want anyone to get to know me. I wanted to hide that side of myself. I hate it."_   
  
"Side? What are you talking about?   
  
_"Which way...do I go? I can't make it back...alone."_   
  
"I don't understand!"   
  
_"Rinoa?"_ The voice was full of grief and suffering.   
  
"I'm right here!" She said as she choked back her tears again. The overwhelming emotion was beginning to get the better of her.   
  
_Am I...all alone again?_   
  
"No," she cried. "No, you never were."   
  
_Where...am I?_   
  
"I don't know, Hyne help me, I don't know."   
  
The voices stopped. The sudden silence startled her.   
  
"Squall? Squall answer me! Please!"   
  
Suddenly the ground trembled and another sound filled her ears. It was the sound of gathering energy. It grew in intensity and she had to cover her ears. She looked up at the sky and watched as a bolt of lightning…no it wasn't lightning…a beam of energy struck just below her feet sending her flying backwards. She skidded across the dusty ground and came to a halt yards away from where she was standing. She lifted herself onto her elbows and looked around in a dazed stupor. A rush of wind blew in her face and she gazed upward to see the looming form of a giant winged creature. It landed a few feet in front of her. The ground quaked beneath its massive force. It stood towering over her.   
  
"Turn back descendant of Hyne," Bahamut growled lowly, "You have gone far enough."   
  
"Where is Squall?"   
  
"He is none of your concern now. You cannot help him." He snorted. "Now, go. It is dangerous here."   
  
"What have you done to him?"   
  
"Do not speak to me so disgraceful!" The guardian roared, "I have done nothing to him! It is the human world that is to blame! He wishes for it to end. I am here because he wants me to be here…to take him from it."   
  
"Take him from what?"   
  
"I will take him from this world, he has proven himself worthy enough to live among the guardians. He will never be alone there."   
  
"You're lying!" She yelled defiantly. "Squall would never want that...he knows he's not alone here!"   
  
_"Doesn't he?"_ The voice echoed in her mind.   
  
"Why do you doubt sorceress?" Bahamut asked and then turned his head suddenly as he heard something in the distance that she could not.   
  
"Why do you wait?" She replied.   
  
The GF turned to face her once again. "What?"   
  
"If you are here to take him, what is keeping you?"   
  
Rinoa could have sworn that for a brief instant she saw fear flash across the dragon's fiery eyes.   
  
"Answer me!"   
  
"I wait for nothing insolent human! I can take him at my leisure."   
  
"I want to see him!"   
  
"You may not. He wishes to see no one. And I have sworn to protect him."   
  
"So have I!"   
  
"Your stubbornness annoys me."   
  
"And your inability to give straight answers is annoying the hell out of me!"   
  
He reeled his head back as if to attack…but then paused.   
  
"Why do you care for him?"   
  
She thought for a moment before speaking.   
  
"Because I choose to Bahamut…I choose to." She looked at the giant with pleading eyes, "Please, I beg of you. Let me see him. Let me talk to him, if only to say goodbye…grant me that."   
  
Bahamut lowered his ancient head to look her directly in the eyes. He studied them intently.   
  
"You speak the truth Hyne's descendant." He said. "I admire your valor. I will make a deal with you. You may go and speak with him, save him, if you can. Prove me wrong. But if you cannot, then you will stand in my way no longer. Do you agree to this?"   
  
"Yes, I agree."   
  
"Very well. He is waiting just beyond the red fog by a large and gnarled tree. Though you may not recognize him."   
  
"What do you mean?"   
  
"I can tell you no more, only that the time is drawing near, and you must hurry."   
  
She looked towards the horizon beyond the dragon's massive wings and then began to run. She would run, as long as there was hope. She stopped in mid stride and turned to the guardian once more.   
  
"Thank you." She said.   
  
Bahamut raised a clawed hand in farewell as he began fading. "Hyne be with you young sorceress," he whispered. "May the tides of fate see you both home." 


	2. Part 2

Rinoa felt like she had been running for hours. Time had no meaning here however but she was beginning to wonder where exactly "beyond the red fog" existed. All she could see was red. She wondered if guardians were capable of lying. She decided that after being junctioned to human minds, there was no doubt that they were. Her legs buckled beneath her and she hit the ground hard.   
  
This time the rest of her body came with them and she fell among the red dust face down. Her breath was quick and ragged. She choked against the hollow dirt that swept around her like a tide. She felt like giving up. If he was going to die, she wanted to die here with him. She felt that if she pressed herself against the sand hard enough, that she would sink, become part of it, forgetting everything, knowing nothing. To not have to feel any of this anymore. No pain. No more hurting. An end.   
  
And the thought came to her, that this must be what he was feeling, this overwhelming urge to quit. She opened her eyes and saw her chain outstretched along the ground in front of her. She saw the rings that looped through the silver thread. His ring. The same ring that had been with her in space. The voice calling to her, telling her not to give up. And she realized that she couldn't let him die here. When he had never begun to live in the first place. It wasn't fair to him, whether he cared to admit it or not. She wouldn't accept his defeat. Not without a fight. She rose from the ground again, now as red as the sand and air around her.   
  
She began walking as she wiped the dirt from her eyes. Paying little attention to what was in front of her she smacked into something that felt like a brick wall and fell unceremoniously once more to the ground. She shook the stars from her eyes and looked up at her assailant. Her heart leapt into her throat and she swallowed hard. Even bent down on one knee it stood towering over her.   
  
Her first emotion, was fear. Her first instinct, was to run. She still had fresh wounds from the previous encounter. An encounter that felt like it had occurred centuries ago. The fear soon turned to puzzlement and confusion as she gazed into its eyes. They no longer held the hate and fury they had before. Its giant claws no longer extended. Black wings that once gave it the ability of flight were now tattered and torn remnants of what they once were. Its face contorted not in wrath, but in fear and sadness. It was marred by a hundred scars that bled like rivers to the ground. She watched a solitary tear escape its eye as it looked at her. For the first time, Griever knew the meaning of its name.   
  
She wasn't sure if she should cry or scream. The fear had practically paralyzed her, and she didn't think she could do either if she wanted to. However, she wasn't threatened by the monstrous GF anymore. She was more frightened of whatever was capable of mangling such a powerful force. She gasped and felt a wave of nausea rise up from the pit of her stomach as Griever removed the hand on its chest and extended it towards her. She saw the large and ragged hole it had been protecting.   
  
Blood flowed freely now from the wound that went deep and beyond the bone and tissue. It didn't seem to notice though as it continued to reach towards her. Its eyes were pleading as if it was begging to help her, or begging for her own help. Whether to help or harm she still wasn't entirely convinced. Her mind was leaning towards the former. Something seemed so familiar about it. The wound was familiar as well; she had seen it before in battle, the jagged precision of the blade and the char of blackened gunpowder around the edges, a wound from a gunblade.   
  
Before she could even consider it, her hand was already reaching for the blood-covered hand of the guardian. Somehow its need was overcoming her own fear. Seeing this engulfed Griever in a sea of emotion as a low moan rose from its throat and the tear that was one became many, cascading down its face like rain. The sight was more than her emotions could bear as she felt the tears beginning to stream down her own cheeks.   
  
"I've failed you," it said in a quivering voice as she touched the wet tips of its fingers, "I'm so sorry."   
  
She didn't have time to react before the wind picked up and forced their hands apart as the blinding sand hindered her vision again. The earth quaked beneath her and knocked her from her position on the ground as loud booming voice filled her ears.   
  
"Don't touch him!!"   
  
The fog lifted and the sand winds died down immediately. Rinoa found herself staring up into a large and barren tree. Gnarled branches extended outward to the sky, large jagged thorns aligned the tree bark. And a young boy sat on a branch among them, looking down at her and scowling.   
  
"Go away!" he ordered.   
  
She was too addled to reply, still trying to regain her senses. Something was familiar about the child. Though he looked to be no older than eight or nine. Something about the way his grayish blue eyes looked at her with an empty stare. A gaze that didn't really see her at all…more like, refused to see her. She recognized it immediately.   
  
"Squall?"   
  
"I said go away!" The boy yelled down from his perch. "I don't need you!"   
  
"Squall, listen to me…"   
  
"Are you deaf lady? I said leave now before you get hurt!"   
  
"What's here to hurt me?" she questioned.   
  
"Me!" he retorted. "I will! If not now, eventually, I'll hurt you like I have all the rest. Like they hurt me. You can't depend on me. I can't depend on you. You'll find that out and you'll wish you had listened!"   
  
"You don't won't to hurt anyone." She stated.   
  
Squall looked away. "No I don't." he said quietly. "But somehow I always do. I'm cursed."   
  
His voice became louder. "But he will hurt you," he said pointing to the stretched out form of the guardian lying on the ground breathing harshly. "And he'll mean it!"   
  
Griever tried to get up from his position but his arms were too weak and buckled beneath him. He rolled over onto his back and stared up at the boy. No anger or contempt was in his pale yellow eyes…only sorrow.   
  
"Did you do that to him?"   
  
The boy wiped a hand across his face. "Yes…but he deserved it."   
  
"Why?"   
  
"He lied," he said clenching his small fists. "He always lies!" Squall's voice shook, though his eyes were still expressionless. "He makes promises that he can't keep!" In anger he stood and picked up the gunblade that sat beside him on the tree limb as if it was completely weightless and threw it towards the GF. Rinoa gasped as the blade hurdled through the air and sank into the ground just inches from the guardian's head. He didn't even flinch.   
  
"Hurry up and die!" The boy screamed.   
  
"…I can't," Griever said lowly. "I can't die."   
  
"Even now, you're lying!"   
  
"I don't know what you are talking about," Griever replied, trying desperately to take a deeper breath of air. "I've never lied to you."   
  
"You just don't stop do you?" Squall said as he sat back down, dangling his legs from the height. "Okay…so if you can't die…then why is there fear in your eyes?"   
  
Silence.   
  
"See? You can't answer me. Because you know I'm right. If it weren't for you, the dragon would have already taken me out of this awful place. I still don't know why he's so afraid of you…I think you're just pathetic."   
  
"It isn't what you want…"   
  
"You don't know anything about what I want."   
  
Rinoa could have sworn she heard a chuckle escape from the GFs lips. None of this was making any sense at all. She wasn't sure that she should interrupt; rather, she just didn't know what she could say. This was so damn confusing.   
  
"You're just jealous because I'll be the one who's not alone anymore. Someone will actually care about me for a change. I'll be leaving YOU for once."   
  
"You're right. I don't want to be alone. I don't want you to be alone. I'm just as scared as you are. I want to get out of here. But you don't seem to understand that when I die, you go with me."   
  
"Liar!"   
  
Griever closed his eyes in defeat before turning to look at Rinoa.   
  
"You need to go," he said. "There's no place for you here, nothing you can do. He's been blinded and he doesn't understand. He only sees the one side that he's always known. Please…leave. While you still can. I can't make him change. I don't think anyone can. Don't let him…hurt you."   
  
The beast howled in pain and clutched at the large wound on his chest as blood seeped through his fingers. He thrashed weakly on the ground as he fought with an unseen attacker. Rinoa glanced up at the boy who was standing once more, his arm outstretched with his fist clenched as if he held a knife in it. And he was twisting it.   
  
"Stop it!" She yelled as she charged towards the tree. She was quickly halted by the thorn-encased vines that snaked down from the tree and wrapped themselves tightly around her wrists. She cried out as they tightened their grip and the needlelike barbs sank deep into her skin.   
  
"I thought I told you to leave," he said. "Why are you still here?"   
  
"You're hurting her!" She watched as the guardian tried scrambling to his feet to help her from the intertwining plants. More vines shot from the tree and quickly bound the creature to the earth.   
  
"And what would you know of pain?" The child questioned, now sounding well beyond his appearance in age. "You were the lucky one. They let you forget. You're not reminded every minute, every second. Don't tell me you know what pain is."   
  
"I do," Rinoa said calmly.   
  
It caught the boy off guard. "What?"   
  
"I do, I know what it is. I felt it; I'm feeling it now. But not by these," she lifted her hands as the rivulets of blood ran down her arms. "Tell me of your pain. There's another way out of here. Let me help you."   
  
For the first time she noticed emotion in his pale gray eyes. "What if I hurt you?"   
  
"It's okay, I'm willing to take the chance," she smiled genuinely up at him.   
  
"I've hurt so many people…why would anyone want me. It started when I first began, and its never ended."   
  
Rinoa watched as a vision of a woman appeared in the far sky, like the backdrop of a movie screen. Her face was contorted in agony and she screamed in pain.   
  
"Is that your mother Squall? She questioned.   
  
"Yes, isn't she pretty?" He replied with a far away look in his eyes. "Everyone loved her so much. I wanted to…but I made her go away."   
  
The apparition faded.   
  
"Oh…sweetie, that wasn't your fault."   
  
"My father thought it was."   
  
Another image appeared of a tall man in the shadows of a doorway, holding the hand of a small girl. A woman with long hair stood at the entrance.   
  
_"What will I tell him?"_ The woman asked.   
  
_"Tell him whatever you want. But I have to get her to a safer location."_   
  
_"Why won't you take him?"_   
  
_"Because, damn it, I have too much on my plate right now than to add a kid to it…maybe later, when the world isn't so dangerous."   
  
"It will always be dangerous Mr. Loire. But sometimes it helps when one discovers that it's a little less empty."   
  
"I can't…not now. He's better off here."   
  
"Don't you think you should at least talk to him? At least let him know of your existence. Ellone is all he has ever had…this will be so hard for him."   
  
"He'll live."   
  
"Uncle Laguna! I don't want to leave Squall!"   
  
"Go with Uncle Kiros, Ellone. The most important thing right now is making sure you're safe."   
  
"Mr. Loire…"   
  
"Mrs. Kramer, tell him anything you want, except the truth. It's too dangerous. And if he ever asks, his last name is Leonhart. Cut any and all ties with me. Its for the best."   
  
"…as you wish."_   
  
The image faded again.   
  
"He didn't know…I was there in the hallway, the whole time. I heard every word…he never wanted me, nothing could come of it but pain."   
  
"Squall…"   
  
"And Ellone, I hurt her once too, at least, that's what everyone believed."   
  
The sky flashed and a young Ellone appeared on the tree limb high above the ground beside him.   
  
_"Watch this Squall,"_ she said as began walking to the edge of the tree. _"See how good I can balance?"   
  
"Sis!"_   
  
Another Squall appeared and ran up to the tree.   
  
_"Be careful! You're gonna fall!"   
  
"Don't be silly Squall, I know what I'm doing."_   
  
The boy tried scrambling up the tree after her only to fall after climbing the first couple of branches. Ellone quickly moved to see if he was alright, lost her balance, and plummeted to the bottom.   
  
_"Ellone? Are you alright?"_   
  
There was no response.   
  
More children ran up to the scene. One boy immediately grabbed Squall by the shirt and pushed him to the ground.   
  
_"Look what you've done!"_ Seifer cried. _ "I bet you pushed her didn't you? Didn't you?!?" The others stared in shock. "Matron! Squall pushed Ellone out of the tree!"_   
  
They disappeared.   
  
"I never told them any different," Squall said. "I let them believe it, and sooner or later I started believing it myself. Maybe I did push her out of that tree…She almost died, it was my fault."   
  
  
  
"That's how I know I can't get close to someone…because I'll hurt them, I'll let them down…just like her."   
  
This time the sky faded to a black canvas full of stars. Rinoa saw herself, floating adrift through space. She shuddered as her skin remembered the frigid cold.   
  
"I failed her."   
  
The body drifted closer and she noticed the large hole in the helmet. The pale face lurched forward and she gasped and turned away from the image. She took a moment to catch her breath before speaking.   
  
"Squall…that never happened."   
  
"What?"   
  
"That…it never happened. You saved her."   
  
"I did?"   
  
She smiled. "Yes, you did. And she is so grateful for you Squall, not just for that, but for everything, all that you've done, and all that you have yet to do. You are far more than what you've convinced yourself that you are."   
  
"I want to believe you."   
  
"Then do!" she said. "I can't promise a world out there with no pain or heartache. I can't speak for the actions of the past. But I can tell you that whatever you face in the future, you won't face it alone. You have friends, and they're waiting for you…I'm waiting for you, just like we promised."   
  
She advanced to the base of the tree and held up a hand.   
  
"But I can't catch you, until you let go."   
  
The vines released her wrists and unwound themselves from Griever.   
  
The boy trembled with sobs as he cried for the first time since he swore an oath to the ocean on a lone beach years ago.   
  
"You've got a life ahead of you Squall," she said. "Come with me, and I'll show it to you."   
  
He nodded and stood shakily on the branch.   
  
"Okay…but you'll catch me right?"   
  
She wiped the tears from her eyes and outstretched both her arms. "I'll catch you…just like you caught me."   
  
"Don't let me fall."   
  
"Never."   
  
And with that he let go. She watched as he fell towards her, and he was almost in her grasp when the child suddenly faded along with the tree. She looked around, puzzled. The injured guardian had disappeared from the ground. The void was empty again. Had she failed?   
  
She felt a hand place itself on her shoulder.   
  
She turned, and there he was, the one she had known, the one she had come to love, the child was no longer there.   
  
"Thank you for catching me," he said.   
  
Overjoyed she wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him as tightly as she could. He hugged her back just as feverously. She released him as she felt something wet and sticky seep through her clothing.   
  
She looked down at the crimson stain that was spreading across his white t-shirt.   
  
"Oh Hyne, you're bleeding!" She said as she tried to stop the blood flow with her hand. He placed his hand on top of hers and she looked up to meet his unconcerned gaze.   
  
"It's okay," he said and then smiled, "It'll heal."   
  
He took her hand in his own, holding it tightly.   
  
"Will you walk home with me?"   
  
She nodded.   
  
But as they began their journey together, she suddenly began to fade.   
  
"Squall!"   
  
He looked at her; a momentary flash of fear came and went from his eyes.   
  
"Don't worry," he said. "I know the way, now."   
  
She reached out and touched the side of his face.   
  
"Wait for me okay?"   
  
"I'll be waiting," she said. "I promise."   
  
And then she vanished. 


	3. Part 3

The next thing she was aware of was light filtering through closed eyelids and the feel of a rubbing gently against her cheek. She opened her eyes slowly, letting the world in a little at a time. Her vision adjusted to the light and she was able to make out the figure standing over her.   
  
"Zell?" she croaked. Her throat felt like sand paper.   
  
"Hey," he said smiling widely. "Welcome back."   
  
He suddenly became aware that he still had his hand on her cheek. He blushed furiously.   
  
"Um…you were um…crying…in your sleep," he stammered. "I was just…you had…on your face and I…"   
  
Zell…Zell, its okay," she smiled. "Thank you."   
  
He smiled back. "Sure, no prob."   
  
She momentarily cast her gaze downward, biting her lip hesitantly, unsure if she wanted to ask. Zell read her expression and answered the question that was burning a hole in her tongue.   
  
"He's alive Rinoa," he said reassuringly. "He's still alive."   
  
"Is he conscious?"   
  
"Um..no. Dr. Kadowaki said he was in a coma. They aren't sure why. We weren't able to draw Bahamut, once someone becomes unconscious the draw spells aren't effective…but they said they didn't see any immediate threat right now at leaving him in."   
  
She turned her head away.   
  
"Hey Rin, its not your fault," he said. "As far as I can see you saved him with that sleep spell. Squall is tougher than cursed spikes, he'll be just fine…don't you worry."   
  
She returned her gaze to the young martial artist. "Its good to see you again, Zell."   
  
"Yeah, its good to see you too," he said as his eyes glistened.   
  
She rose up off the infirmary bed into a sitting position and outstretched her arms towards him. "So give me a hug already," she smiled.   
  
"Yeah, okay," he moved close and hugged her tightly.   
  
"How long have I been out?"   
  
"A few hours."   
  
Hours that had felt like years.   
  
"I seen him Zell," she said softly over his shoulder. "I talked to him. Maybe…maybe, it was a dream, but, it felt so real."   
  
"Really? What'd the old sourpuss have to say?" He laughed good-naturedly.   
  
She closed her eyes remembering, and then smiled.   
  
"He said he was coming home."   
  
Zell patted her back before releasing his embrace. He sniffed and turned away from her. She watched as he brought a hand to his eyes and wiped at them furiously. He looked back over his shoulder. "I'm gonna go tell everyone you're awake, they'll be so happy to see you. We've all been taking shifts with you and Squall. Been hoping you guys would come back around."   
  
He waved a hand. "Be right back."   
  
  
  
He returned a short time later with Irvine, Quistis and Selphie in tow. The reunion was filled with joy and relief that quickly became short-lived with the thoughts of their still fallen comrade looming like a dark blanket in the back of their minds. She told them of what she saw. After everything they had been through together, nothing, no matter how farfetched, was impossible. Their world had lost the impossible long ago. It renewed hope as the five of them gathered in the commander's room located far down the corridor of the infirmary. And there they waited, for hours upon end. They waited until duties forced them elsewhere. They had lives and they had responsibilities and of course she didn't blame them. She supposed they were doing exactly what Squall would have wanted them to do. But she refused. She could look at him and just hear his disapproval. _"What a waste of time, wasting your life waiting for someone else."_ He could call it devotion, call it stubbornness, whatever he liked. But damn it all, she made a promise and she was going to see it through till the end, whichever way it chose to go.   
  
And so she had said, and so it had remained, for 14 days. The only time she left his side was when Quistis or Selphie would come in and drag her out for some fresh air. Though it was never a long period of time it was nice to get out of the sterile smell of the room and away from the monotonous and slow beep of the EKG that was a constant onslaught on her ears. Zell would stop by occasionally and drag her to the cafeteria to eat or drop off the occasional hotdog or cup of coffee. Irvine would stop by when he had some free time and keep her company. Sometimes he'd talk, sometimes he just brought a deck of cards and they'd spend the time in silence playing a wide variety of games. It kept her sane. All of their efforts did. She was so grateful for them, for being there, for taking care of her, something she had forgotten in her own efforts.   
  
Squall remained exactly the same. No decline in his condition, but no improvements. She did everything that she knew to do. She would talk to him, plead with him, and when the mood struck her, she'd get angry and yell at him. Hoping that he would just shoot straight up out of the bed and yell right back. It'd be music to her ears. She'd give anything to hear his voice again. She would read to him. Magazines and books, whatever she could get her hands on. It didn't help that they were in a military facility as most of the books were weapons and tactic manuals. God they were so boring. She decided to stop reading those. Much more of that and she'd be slipping into a coma herself.   
  
She was nervous every time one of the doctors came in to examine him. Scared of what they might say. Even more scared of what they might not say. She had heard what was being said. They had told her nothing. But word gets around. There was more and more talk of extracting the GF manually from his brain. Quistis had sat down with her and explained the whole situation. She told her that guardians could only remain dormant for so long in an unconscious mind before it starts taking over, consuming more than just memories and eventually taking over parts that control basic functions of the body. Ultimately killing its host. The surgery however was extremely difficult and to date had not been completely successful. Survivors were left paralyzed or complete vegetables. She knew he would prefer death to that.   
  
There would be nothing she could say though. She had no authority or say-so where his well-being was concerned. He was property of Balamb Garden. And no matter how much of a hero he was, no matter how many lives he had saved, no matter how much she cared for him, he was still just that, military property. And she knew that no amount of pleading from a young and inexperienced sorceress would change anything. Dreams and hope meant very little on a professional level. On that level, reality reigns. And the reality was, he wasn't getting better.   
  
It wasn't going to stop her though and she held fast to her efforts. Losing sleep as well as her touch with reality. She still had faith in him, and prayed that he didn't lose his way again. Keeping her hopes up was now all she knew to do. She held to it like a lifeline until it broke, taking her resolve with it. Doubt entered. And for the first time in fourteen days, she cried. It was an aching and painful sound that ricocheted back from the thick white walls. Reaching no other ears but her own. She cursed herself for crying. Crying was a tool of the defeated. She wasn't defeated. She refused it. She didn't want to lose him. But there was no one telling her to "just stay close." During the night she was alone here. And she was afraid   
  
Rinoa grabbed his hand and held it as she had done so many nights before. Closing her eyes as her fingers glided along its contours, feeling the calluses and scars of a hundred battles. She brought it up to her lips, and she kissed it. The tears rolled off her cheeks and ran down the length his forearm. She wished he would give her some sort of sign, anything to tell her that he knew she was here with him. She wanted him to know that he wasn't alone.   
  
Carefully, as not to disrupt the various wires and tubes attached to his body, she pulled her chair closer to the bed. She put his arm gently around her neck and then draped her own arm across him. She hugged close to him and rested her head against his chest. She wondered if he would mind this little interruption of his personal space. She caressed the folds of the thin hospital gown he wore, lightly tracing imaginary pictures on his abdomen.   
  
"If this bothers you just tell me okay?" she said. Hyne, how she wished he would. He wished he would tell her anything. Tell her that black was white; tell her that the world was flat. She didn't care, the faintest whisper from his lips, and she would believe him. But there was no stirring, no voice, and no recognition of anything. She sighed.   
  
  
  
"Have you lost your way again?" she asked quietly. "Is there something I'm forgetting? Something I haven't tried? I need to know. I can't read your mind, I can't read that expression. I can't see your eyes." Her voice began fading. She had forgotten how good it felt to lie down and sleep. She was so tired.   
  
"I feel like I owe you so much," she continued. "I don't think I could ever repay you for what you've done for me. I've learned so much. I thought I knew all there was before I met you. Now I know I didn't know a damn thing."   
  
"I need to see you again. There's so much I want to say, and I don't know how. I don't even know if I can. I've never felt this way before. It scares me almost as much as seeing you lying here. I can't help but feel I've been nothing but a burden for you and I'm sorry. I wish I knew what I could give you in return." She paused, and considered for a moment before continuing.   
  
"You have my heart…for whatever that's worth."   
  
The rest of her words faded into a series of mumbles as sleep claimed her within its grasp. Sleep that held her so tightly that she was completely unaware of the hand around her arm clasping with fingers ever so slightly and pressing against it to hold her tighter. A solitary pair of eyes glistened in the green glow of the machines as a small voice muffled by an oxygen mask gave her an answer, only heard by the darkness surrounding them.   
  
_"More than you know."_   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*confetti! Woo!~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
The end! Whew, that took longer than expected. But I hope that you enjoyed it, and thanks so much for reading, and for the reviews, they mean a lot to me as well! A big thanks to ashbear who was always on hand to read chapters for me and getting my hands to typing with encouragement to finish this, cuz I have been SLOW. Hehehh. And for just being her awesome self. She's a wonderful author and a great friend, and I really must plug her stories here, so go read them now, if you haven't because they are so wonderful!! Gonna be working on Sorted Laundry now, yes that multichaptered saga that has no multichapters. Its been sitting on spin cycle for months. They've been down in that laundry room for far too long. And now I'm rambling…sorry bout that..anyway, peace, love and pancakes! (with syrup) take care everyone! 


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